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WHY ARE BREAK UP SO HARD😅?



A LADY SHARED WITH ME THE REAL REASONS WHY BREAK UP ARE DEVASTATING EMOTIONALLY.

HERE IS HER STORY AND EXPERIENCE.
PUBLISHED AND POSTED AS WRITTEN

For a man who was very wrong with me, I fell very hard once. This man was a mess on paper. He was depressed, unemployed, broken, selfish, and unable to see beyond that is his own problems to really connect with me.

So what the heck in this relationship was I doing? Well, I felt very special when I was with him. He might have had his women's pick despite his flaws (now what's that saying about us ladies? Hmm... separate topic!) and he chose me. It didn't matter that the way I knew I deserved to be treated he didn't treat me or that he didn't appreciate me in the way I knew any other guy would. I was the one with whom he wanted to spend his time, I was the one with whom he had problems, I was the one with whom he opened up more than anyone else in this world. While in the way I wanted to be loved he couldn't love me, he still loved me the only way he could give love, and that was enough to keep me around. In the relationship, I was unhappy, but it didn't matter. I've been loved.

I was a disaster when the relationship came to an end. Instead of taking the time to work on myself, I ruminated about every aspect of the relationship, trying to figure out what I had done wrong and why I was not suddenly worthy of his time or his love.

Since I had no inherent sense of self-worth to fall back on, by going out and trying to attract as much male attention as I could, I continued to outsource the task of gaining self-esteem. I'd get off being "wanted" by the guys.

It just made me look for more validation, like a junkie on a constant quest for the next fix, to say this kind of thing didn't heal my wounds. And how many guys wanted me, it didn't matter, at the end of the day, there was only one person's approval that I still wanted (his).  No amount of attention or compliments could ever compensate for the fact that my life's love was gone, and with it I once possessed any sense of self-love. I realized in time that in my life he was not the missing ingredient; it was self-love.


It took a while, and a lot of work within, but eventually I learned to love myself for exactly who I was. When that happened, I was finally able to see that failed relationship for the toxic mess it really was and I didn't feel any pain or longing anymore. I had come to a magical place where the only remaining question was: what was I thinking?




People who know their worth and love themselves genuinely can move on with their heads held high from experiences. They do not see a breakup as a personal failure or as a sign that it is not sufficient. They can look back and say, "In this relationship, I had trouble opening up. I'm going to work on it so that in my next relationship I can be better," as opposed to, "I'm emotionally dead inside and can't open up.



 Real  Reason  Why  Breakups  Are Devastating  Emotionally .

Getting your ex back will solve nothing until you heal what's inside and take responsibility for healing.

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